Moving

Merriam Webster has multiple definitions for move/moving. These are the two I am referring to today: b :  to start away from some point or place  c :  to change one’s residence or location. 

I should start by explaining that during my childhood I moved 10 times, and lived in multiple different climates and types of locations. I have lived in large cities, small cities, towns with only one stoplight, and even overseas. For most of my life, when people asked me where I was from my response was usually nowhere and everywhere. That would usually lead to a conversation about why I moved so much. Unlike many people who moved often throughout childhood, I am not a military brat. I do refer to myself as a government brat, due to my father working for the federal government which often impacted our moves. As an adult, I learned that both of my parents also moved a lot as children, again not because of the military. I am sure that impacted their willingness to move their family around regularly.

G, on the other hand, lived in the same small town until he met me. As newlyweds, we moved from that state to a neighboring state. That move was not very successful, which might explain why we bought our first house in the country outside the town he grew up in. We might have stayed there forever if it hadn’t been for two factors. One was a wintertime car accident that made me want to go to a warmer/less icy climate. The other was the beginning of a steadily declining job market in the area. The first couple years of that move was very hard for G as he both adjusted to a new location and living in a rental house again. Before buying our second house, G also had a 45 minute commute which was hard on both of us, especially with young children.

During the early parts of our marriage, I routinely said I wanted my children to be able to have the kind of childhood that G had, and that I didn’t. I wanted them to be able to have most of the same friends throughout school. My plan had always been for my children to have the opposite of my upbringing. I had known many people in my early life, but can’t really say that most of them are my friends. I didn’t want my children to have that reality, I wanted them to have the kind of friends that G had, ones who knew each others lives. With both of the two significant moves my family has made, that has been my biggest concern. J did get to go through most of her school career with the same group of kids, but she still didn’t end up with most of them being her friends in adulthood. O spent the first half of her school career with the same group of kids, but didn’t have any really good friends until the year before we moved.

All of the things I talk about above influenced our desire to make our most recent, and hopefully last move. The main city and suburbs where we lived were also growing at astronomical rates, causing the area to become very crowded, and also more dangerous in multiple ways. The most significant things we were looking for though were a slower pace of life and a different climate that would allow us to grow things again. That climate does bring some irritations with it, but it is still much more moderate than where G grew up.

Although I am glad that we made the move, it was definitely that hardest move I have made in more than 20 years. This move was really only the second move where I left a place that had started to feel like home. It seems to be a very good move for all of us though. J and D both found better jobs doing things they love since moving. G has not only found his dream job, but is also looking forward to when we get the outside projects started during the next year. O is loving living in a place where things grow so easily, and feels like she fits in much better with her classmates here. I am still largely focused on getting things settled, but am looking forward to what the future has to hold.

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